Ukraine President Zelenskyy Offers Putin New Gig as Personal Juggler

Tensions Escalate as Ukraine Offers Putin Unconventional Job Opportunity.

In a surprise move, Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy has offered his Russian counterpart Vladimir Putin a new job as his personal juggler. The offer came during a recent press conference, in response to Putin’s aggressive military posturing towards Ukraine.

“Look, we all know Putin likes to play tough guy,” said Zelenskyy. “But I think deep down, he just wants to entertain people. So I’m offering him a new job as my personal juggler. He can spend the rest of his life in a basement, juggling balls and entertaining me. It’s a win-win situation!”

Zelenskyy went on to describe the job requirements, which include juggling balls of different sizes and weights, performing tricks with knives and fire, and entertaining guests at state dinners.

“We’ll even provide him with a bucket for when nature calls,” added Zelenskyy, with a sly grin.

The proposal has been met with mixed reactions from both sides of the conflict. Putin has not yet responded, but his spokesperson has dismissed the offer as “ridiculous and insulting.”

Meanwhile, Ukrainian citizens have taken to the streets to express their support for Zelenskyy’s proposal, with many saying they would gladly donate balls and other juggling props for Putin to use.

As for Zelenskyy, he remains undeterred by the criticism, saying he’s confident Putin will come around eventually.

“Who knows, maybe he’ll even teach me a few tricks,” said Zelenskyy, with a laugh. “I hear he’s a pretty good juggler!”

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