Boris Johnson’s Wild Lockdown Party: Twerking and Boasting About Kettles

Outrage Ensues as Prime Minister Boasts About Pricey Appliances While Country Struggles with Pandemic Fallout

In an embarrassing revelation for the Prime Minister, Boris Johnson’s secret lockdown party has been exposed as a night of drunken debauchery, with reports of twerking and expensive kettle ownership.

According to sources, Johnson and his entourage started the night off with a few glasses of wine, but things quickly spiraled out of control. Witnesses say the group was soon twerking and gyrating to music, with Johnson leading the charge.

“It was a wild scene,” said one anonymous attendee. “I never thought I’d see Boris Johnson twerking, but there he was, getting down like a pro.”

But the party wasn’t all fun and games. Johnson reportedly took breaks from twerking to brag about his collection of expensive kettles.

“He kept going on and on about his kettles,” said another source. “He said he had one that cost more than a year’s worth of rent for most people. It was bizarre.”

The revelations have sparked outrage among the public, many of whom are still struggling with the effects of the pandemic and subsequent lockdowns.

“How dare he throw a party and twerk while people are still suffering,” said one angry citizen. “And don’t even get me started on the kettles. It’s just insensitive.”

Johnson has yet to comment on the allegations, but sources close to him say he’s considering throwing another party, this time with even more expensive kettles.

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